Ode to Easter *small*

Dear God thank you for Easter and the resurrection of Jesus, but answer me this:

Why do Easter baskets have guns and basketballs in them?
and why do people need to buy them in bulk after Easter?
And what the arf is up with the Easter Bunny?

And why is it so crowded, do you really need to celebrate Easter or appreciate Passover by buying shit tons of candy?


And why do I have to train everyone on earth?
And why when I train am I the only person who knows how to do anything